A client recently passed on a fabulous video touting the impactful words of actor/singer Will Smith. In a nutshell, Will’s edict of self-discipline, allowing him to remain fit and healthy, stems not from guilt, shame, or punishment, but from self-love.
In fact, according to the video, throughout the myriad aspects of his life, Will Smith uses the phrase “I love you too much to…” to remind himself that in every situation he has a choice. The choice is always, am I going to support my wellbeing in this moment or not? Just like Will, the choices that are most prevalent for all of us revolve around food. After all, we must eat! Apply the phrase “I love you too much to let you eat that” in your life and put your wellbeing on the menu.
People Pleases Please Pay Attention!
For the perennial givers of the world, the people-pleasers, the take-care-of-everyone-else’ers, the concept of “self-love” often feels selfish, self-serving, and self-involved. As a self-love warrior, I declare, “false”! It is those interpretations that inspire me to be a warrior of the self-love movement and inspire my clients, friends, and family to love themselves deeply as the foundation for a happy and healthy life. In a recent article, I talk about self-love and becoming your greatest love story. You can find it here.
I truly believe that it is our spiritual purpose on earth to learn the lessons that help us to arrive at understanding the foundational power of self-love. Why? Because when we deeply love and respect ourselves, we reflect that love and respect back out to the world. When that happens, we raise the collective good in the world and that has immeasurable power.
Do you remember the amazing children’s movie, Monsters, Inc.? If you have not had the pleasure… spoiler alert! Ultimately, the monsters learn that the most powerful emotion in the universe is love and laughter, not fear, as they originally believed. The hard-wiring of human brains, coupled with the prevalence of negative messages in our society, leaves all of us riddled with fear until we intentionally decide to let that fear go and replace it with love. Fear of judgment, fear of missing out, fear of not being enough, fear of not measuring up, in the absence of a deep foundation of self-love, ends up ruling most of our thoughts, emotions, and actions. Which sounds more appealing to you… making choices out of fear or choices out of love and respect?
“I Love You Too Much to…” In Your Life
Decide to show up for yourself out of love and not fear: Be patient. Be compassionate. It takes determination and practice to upend years of programming. Just start… and keep going!
Remind yourself: Use whatever is your thing: inspirational quotes, pictures, a meditation mat, self-help books. Steep yourself in reminders to love yourself first.
Catch yourself when you are “stinking thinking”: Inevitably, fear-based thoughts will pop up. The goal is not to eradicate those thoughts but to catch them quickly, neutralize them, and let them go. Text the word LASTINGCHANGE to the number 22828 for my free guide SHINE Brighter for a tool to help keep those limiting beliefs in check.
Treat yourself with all the love and respect that you would expect and want for your child, your beloved-family member, your best friend: Offer yourself kind and loving words, spend quality time with yourself, expect the best for yourself. Set your intention to be your own best friend.
Use that magic phrase, “I love you too much to…” in all situations: I love you too much to let you eat that whole piece of cake. I love you too much to let you not eat fruits or vegetables with every meal. I love you too much to let you eat those fatty fried foods. Or maybe, I love you too much to get less than 7 hours of sleep, to stay in that unhealthy relationship, or doubt your worth and esteem. I love you too much to not go for that promotion.
You get the idea! Love yourself too much to not prioritize your happiness and health. If you feel like you need help with this, get a coach! I help my clients S.H.I.N.E. their brightest love light on themselves so they can light up the world around them. You can too. Shine your love light inward and love yourself too much to keep all that love to yourself. See you on the bright side!
To read more about this topic check out Lauren’s LHL blog post, The Secret to Losing Weight for Good.
Lauren Yellin Weinberg, MS, NBC-HWC
As The Becoming Coach, Lauren empowers her clients to become more confident, calm, and connected and to architect the wildly wonderful life they have always imagined. A National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, and a Certified Happiness Coach, with a background as a psychologist and family therapist, she is committed to a whole-person, empirically-based process that creates lasting mindset and wellbeing changes. Her transformational coaching is designed to accelerate and support personal and professional success while inspiring her clients to fall in love with who they are becoming.
Lauren is also a thought partner for solopreneurs and she is an expert for Living Healthy List.
Find out more at lastingchangewellness.com or email directly at lastingchangecoach@gmail.com Follow on FB @lastingchangewellness; on IG @lastingchangecoach and on LinkedIn @LaurenYellinWeinberg