There are two sayings that I’m fond of using. The first is, “If you can’t control, let it roll.” This refers to letting go of all that you cannot control in life. If you are honest, this includes almost everything that you currently try to control. Struggling against this principle will inevitably lead to, more struggling.
The second, “You can’t control the weather, but you can learn to dance in the rain.” This is also about releasing what you do not have control over, but it goes a step further to encourage you to make the best of any situation.
Can you see that how you respond to a situation is a choice? The choice comes from how you think about what has happened. You can struggle, sulk, pout, grumble and complain, but it will not make the situation any better. If your goal is becoming happier, your mindset can help you create a happiness habit.
You may think that your beliefs and attitudes are just “who you are”, as immutable as your shoe size or the color of your eyes.
Think again
“The mind is everything. What you think you become.” Buddha
The point of this article is about re-thinking your thought habits. Any habit can change if you have the proper awareness and motivation. This is true even of deep-seated beliefs about yourself, about the world and those around you, even about your happiness. Habits are formed by repeating the same behaviors over and over until deep grooves, called neural pathways, are formed in your brain. It is exposure and repetition, not genetics or natural inclination, that formed your attitudes, positions, opinions, in a word, your mindset.
As The Becoming Coach, I help my clients fall in love with who they are becoming and create a life they love to live. In short, I help them feel happy and create more happiness in their lives. Anyone can learn to do this, and cultivating a positive, grateful, and loving mindset that accepts the reality of the moment is a key part of honing the happiness skill.
Why is this important?
Optimistic positive people have been shown to live longer healthier lives, and have a more enjoyable ride along the way.
Your Mindset Can Help You Create a Happiness Habit
Much like a garden blooms most beautifully in fertile, well-tended soil, happiness thrives when you create the most conducive conditions. These include:
- HEALTHY HABITS that support how you show up for yourself and others.
- CONNECTIONS that are nourishing – and act with intentional kindness.
- TIME and ENERGY that is well spent.
- MINDSET that is positive, grateful, and accepting of what is.
- WORK that is meaningful
- KNOW YOUR JOY and do whatever brings it as much as possible.
- ALLOW ALL YOUR FEELINGS because without the lows there are no highs.
Notice that these are all things over which you have control. However, your mindset is the most accessible and immediately alterable of those factors. While it takes practice, changing your mindset is completely within your control, costs nothing, and does not involve anyone else. Though As I discuss in my article Happiness: The Effect s of Community, sometimes other people are incredibly helpful when you want to create a happiness habit.
Tips to start:
- Practice Gratitude to fast-track a more optimistic mindset. (Learn more here)
- Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff – and it’s all small stuff. Richard Carlson got it right!
- If You Can’t Control, Let it Roll. Knowing what’s out of your control is half the battle.
- Practice Positivity: Think about your thinking and catch yourself when you think or speak negatively. Pause. Turn it around with a more positive phrase. According to quantum physics, thoughts have energy. Negative thoughts attract more negativity, positive thoughts attract more positivity.
- Practice Compassion for yourself and others. Kindness is key.
- SHINE Brighter: Find Freedom from Your Limiting Beliefs All of us struggle at times with thoughts that hold us back. Text the word LASTING CHANGE to the number 22828 to receive my guide to managing the persistent thoughts that hold you back from living a more confident, calm, and happy life.
Yes, sometimes things are legitimately difficult. Life will throw you curveballs. However, how you think about and respond to those curveballs is a choice. If your goal is becoming happier, more in love with yourself and your life, your mindset can help you create a happiness habit.
Lauren Yellin Weinberg, MS, NBC-HWC
As The Becoming Coach, Lauren empowers her clients to become more confident, calm, and connected and to architect the wildly wonderful life they have always imagined. A National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, and a Certified Happiness Coach, with a background as a psychologist and family therapist, she is committed to a whole-person, empirically-based process that creates lasting mindset and wellbeing changes. Her transformational coaching is designed to accelerate and support personal and professional success while inspiring her clients to fall in love with who they are becoming.
Lauren is also a thought partner for solopreneurs and she is an expert for Living Healthy List.
Find out more at lastingchangewellness.com or email directly at lastingchangecoach@gmail.com Follow on FB @lastingchangewellness; on IG @lastingchangecoach and on LinkedIn @LaurenYellinWeinberg