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Suzanne Taylor

The last 12 years of growing my business have really been about growing myself. Life coaching yourself and deciding to show up how you want to be in the future, that best version of yourself, is the most powerful thing you can do for your business and your relationships.  Wondering what it has taken, I decided to put this personal reflection together of the traits that I have been cultivating over the last 12 years especially!

First, let me say it has not been easy.  I have been tested with anxiety, depression, weight gain, weight loss, illness, and many, many failures!

My #1 passion

to help others succeed, this all-consuming, energizing almost obsessive purpose to let others in on the things I have learned, the rules I have broken.  This purpose to change beliefs, habits, and BS rules that keep others from self-love and success! It doesn’t have to be hard!

#2 Belief in myself

Whew, this one was (is) hard sometimes. Just when you feel success or healing begin, that’s when another struggle or challenge begins. Having this belief in myself has not come easy or without a price. I have lost friends, business relationships, and even a boyfriend because of my entrepreneurial journey.  When I lost a business due to divorce in 1997, I gave up an 800K per year salary, a house, 2 cars, and my beloved dog…..all for my personal safety and wellbeing.  This business and that relationship had been compromising my moral values, my mental strength, my self-worth, and my internal compass. I had to leave it behind to find myself, to believe in myself again.

 

#3 Stop winging it

My strategy in life and business had to grow, I could not just wing it anymore! I had to plan, execute and deliver awesome results for my clients, not just teach, talk and post on social media. I actually wanted to make a difference and that required strategy!  It didn’t come easy at first, the freedom junkie in me resisted the planning!!

Our pasts can be filled with many negative experiences that we’d like to forget. If we aren’t careful to address our past, those less than happy experiences can go on to shape us in negative ways. However, we don’t have to let the negativity of our past define us. Instead, we can decide to use our past for personal growth. By doing so, we make the best out of a bad situation and go on to live meaningful and fulfilling lives.

Another way to stop winging it is to cultivate daily practices for a happier more mindful life. Read more here.

#4 Growth Mindset

A growth mindset is an idea that failures are simply a stop on the road to success. Adopting a growth mindset helps us to embrace the past by accepting that some negative experiences and choices are simply a part of life and learning. This frees us from the negative emotions of guilt, and shame, and getting stuck in the past. When we can accept our past as part of our overall learning and development process, we can learn and ultimately move forward (Mandel, 2020).

 

#5 Forgiveness

Forgiveness is about giving ourselves and others grace so that we can move forward. Often when we’ve experienced negative things or have made poor choices, we can get stuck in a cycle of unforgiveness towards others or ourselves that keeps us stuck in the past.

Making a conscious choice to forgive others or yourself frees you from the event or mistake and allows you to heal so that you can move forward, versus remaining stuck in the pain of that moment.

Forgiveness is essential to releasing emotions like anger, shame, bitterness, sadness, guilt, and others that can keep you bound and stuck (Lindberg, 2018). Thus, working towards forgiveness should be a priority.

 

 

#6 Perspective

Our perspectives play a vital role in shaping our ability to move forward. A pessimistic outlook will keep us stuck in the past and focused on the negatives. But an optimistic outlook can cause us to view our lives and circumstances through a positive lens and propel us forward in life. A positive perspective can help us see our past as a building block or a learning opportunity, and thus something that we can use to help us. Thus, cultivating positivity is important so that we can use our past to our benefit rather than being held back by it (Rampton, 2016).

 

#7 Gratitude

Gratitude is about a choice to find those things in our lives we are thankful for. When we have experienced negative experiences in our past, this can be hard to do. However, embracing a mindset of gratitude is a strong strategy for using our past for personal growth.

Gratitude is a more direct way to alter perspective because it refocuses our attention on the positive things that we are grateful for and shifts it away from those less than positive experiences. By thinking about those things, we have to be grateful for we can pivot from the past and think more about moving forward in life (Rampton, 2016).

 

#8 Don’t Dwell

The most important step in being able to use the past for personal growth is learning not to dwell in the past. You can never adequately move forward if you continuously think about the past. The best measure is to take whatever lessons you can learn from the past, apply them, and then move on. This keeps you from getting stuck and being unable to make progress in life as a result.

The past doesn’t have to be a stumbling block. Instead, it can be a stepping stone towards a brighter future. If we adopt a growth mindset, embrace a positive perspective, come from a place of gratitude, and learn to forgive and move on then we can use our past to progress and become our best selves.

Resources
  1. How to let go: 12 tips for letting go of the past. Healthline
  2. How to grow from mistakes and stop beating yourself up
  3.  8 steps to move away from the past you need to leave behind