‘It is better to give than receive.’ This powerful statement implies is that we are better people when we forsake ourselves and give to others. As with most societal and cultural dictates, this popular proverb has become an edict for women’s expected behavior. And even though it originated in the Bible, the spiritual intent of giving has been long lost, replaced by a lopsided mindset that is messing with us all.  Did you know that your ability to receive love says about the love you give?


Giving IS Receiving

The part that gets lost is that giving and receiving are one and the same. When your intents and actions are on giving to others, you automatically receive as well. In other words, you can’t give without receiving and can’t receive without giving. And though it often doesn’t feel that way, the fact is you’re always getting something.

Why doesn’t it feel like you are receiving when you are doing so much giving?  I’ll let the angels explain:

If one does not feel complete within (them)self, one does not feel worthy to receive.  The ability—yes, it is an ability—to receive is the same as to give.   So, if one can give one can receive, and if one cannot receive, then one does not give with the truest of hearts or the truest of love for self. 

If you cannot love self, you do not see yourself as worthy of receiving.  Therefore, you are not giving the love necessary to unlock the door to your desire.  Love that begins with self, complete, and without condition is shared with others in the same manner.  This creates a reciprocal bond that gives birth to the belief that joy and bliss are not only possible but a promise made by the Divine.  So Says the Light.

Turning Yourself into a Victim

Most of the women have been reared and conditioned to be the givers in our relationships, especially when it comes to romantic love and sex. The unspoken trade is that if we give, we will receive love in return. And yes, while women are pretty much expected to be givers-in-chief, so many us are overachievers in the role. Our lack of worth and self-love turn us into people-pleasing givers and self-sacrificers who don’t feel worthy enough to receive.

When we are unable to receive, we can feel exhausted by all giving while at the same time turning ourselves into a victim who always gives but never gets. But, as the angels said, you have been receiving all along, but until you see that you are deserving enough, you can’t recognize all that has been given.

Look for the Indicators

Here are three areas for you to look at to ascertain just how good you are at receiving.

  1. How well do you receive genuine expressions of flattery?  Do you graciously accept them for the gifts they are or do you dismiss them as suspicious (they must want something) or deflect with a self-deprecating comment?
  2. Sex: Is your pride as a love rooted in your ability to give pleasure?  How comfortable are you at truly receiving in return?  And when I say pleasure, I’m not talking about your ability to orgasm, but your ability to stay in the moment and fully receive—emotionally and spiritually.
  3. Your ability to observe, relate to, and find pleasure in the world through your five senses tells you a lot about your ability to fully receive.  Your five senses are God-given gifts that allow you to be interactive in this world and receive the pleasures meant to make even the mundane memorable.

Bring your awareness to these three areas in your life.  If what you find indicates you’re not as good at receiving as you may have thought, don’t judge.  Now that you’ve recognized it, pick one area and reflect on why, begin to take small steps to recalibrate, and watch as you begin to find joy in areas you never noticed before.

Read more about self-love and for additional guidance please reach out to me.




Hi, I’m Lori Certified Spiritual Love Coach, Author, Confidence Peddler, Angel Scribe, Irreverent Spiritualist, Girl Power Advocate, Love Connoisseur, Sun Lover, Cloud Watcher, Founder, SOL Innovations Coaching Group, The SOLSexy Transformation program and Proud Mom. That’s me, but here’s my official bio:

Lori is a fierce advocate for self-love and the positive ripple effect it has on the larger world. She is an intuitive life/spiritual coach, certified by the International Coach Federation (ICF), author, speaker, and teacher who specializes in 1:1 life coaching centered around self-love and soul alignment. She is also a transformational coach with We Inspire Justice, a social impact group who works with celebrities, influencers and content providers to promote equality, diversity and social justice within the entertainment industry and beyond.

Lori is an Emmy award-winning writer, and author of eight books, and is currently working on her ninth. She is a passionate and motivating speaker who has facilitated workshops all over the country and in Mexico. She is the Health and Wellness Director for the Life Luxe Jazz Festival and is responsible for the creative development and execution of the two-day programming centered around financial, physical, and emotional wellness for POC. She is a founding expert and programming chair of the Living Healthy List, an online source for honest and reliable information of health, wellness, personal development.

Her motto: True Masters Learn through Joy