Technically, we live in the land of the free and the home of the brave, but often we women behave in ways that are anything but free or brave. Far too many of us are slaves to the opinions and boundaries that other people erect for us—especially when it comes to feeling attractive and sexy, and especially when we reach a certain age.

If we think of the passages of our life like the seasons—spring, summer, fall, and winter,  those of us in our 50’s, 60’s and 70’s, are in the autumn of our lives.  Many of us tend to think that has us knocking on death’s door when it comes to our feminine confidence and sexual relevancy.  We receive so many mixed messages about who we are, or more pointedly who we AREN’T anymore, and it keeps us from embracing this delicious time in our lives.

This month, as the U.S. celebrates its national independence, consider declaring a little personal freedom of your own. Pick one thing that you’re doing to please someone else or to conform to society that is in direct conflict with your personal desire or tastes, and start your own mini-revolution. It need not be earth-shattering, but taking one small step in the direction that you want to go, instead of where someone’s pushing you, can truly be life-altering. Here are a few ideas to consider:

It’s Your Life—Live it in Color

Make yourself visible Have you ever thought about how much time you spend trying to blend in rather than stand out in the crowd? Sure it could be insecurities or maybe as simple as being stuck in a rut, but isn’t it time to show the world your true colors? It’s time to rise and become fully engaged in who you say you are as a woman and live a technicolor life that comes with this glorious stage of life.

Wardrobe yourself in the passion and vibrancy of the season’s reds; the warmth and exciting enthusiasm of the oranges; the energetic, confident, and uplifting yellows; and the wise, spiritual and compassion of purple. Pick one thing about your wardrobe that will catch the eyes of others. Getting noticed for all the right reasons will make you feel lighter and brighter and attract more positive energy.

Liberate Yourself from Negative Opinions—Yours Included


Go gray. The average woman spends $330 a year on coloring her hair. Think about how much you saved during this pandemic year.  Consider putting that money back into your pocket to spend or save for something special and join the women who are celebrating their silver locks rather than hiding them. Enhance your natural beauty with a sexy, modern haircut and prepare to turn heads with your own beautiful shades of grey. Remember, it’s the way you think and act that makes you look old, not the color of your hair. You can also walk tall with the knowledge that while others are trying to be trendy, you’re just being you.


Wear a bikini. Even if it’s in the backyard and for your eyes only. Liberate yourself from negative thoughts about your perceived fatal figure flaws.   Stop apologizing to yourself and the world for not having the perfect physique. BTW, there’s no such thing. Even celebrities, the folks we look up to and work so hard to emulate, have body-image issues. So cease the embarrassment and commence to strutting your stuff in a two-piece. Let the sun kiss as much of your skin as possible (that would be sunblock protected skin). Wear that bikini proudly and appreciate that you possess a healthy, functioning body.  Know that sexy is as sexy does. Whether you choose to share your bikini-clad bod with the rest of the world, is your choice, but giving yourself permission to enjoy your body as is, should be your mandate.

Embark on your personal pursuit of happiness.


Decide to do or start something this summer that you’ve always wanted to do.  Even if nobody else wants to join in.  Create your bucket list with the notion that it’s a gift of love to yourself. Then pick one thing to accomplish this summer. Travel somewhere new, learn a foreign language, take a belly dancing class or start those singing lessons. Do you for a change with no excuses or regrets. And with no worries about success or failure. Declare your independence from the need to be great at something.  Instead, enjoy the experience just because you can.

Give your good girl her freedom. Declare your sexy independence. After the grill has been doused, create some fireworks of your own by stretching the boundaries of your passion. Amp up your love life by trying something new you’ve read about, seen or heard. Go for it with the knowledge that it’s the adventuresome attitude and re-energized passion that’s going to take you over the top, not the tricks. The important thing is to climb out of your rut and shake up your own attitudes about sex and being sexy.

Independence Day isn’t just about the Fourth of July. It’s a personal journey that runs a lifetime. Think about it — life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. If it’s an ideal good enough to define a nation, it’s good enough to define you!



Hi, I’m Lori Certified Spiritual Love Coach, Author, Confidence Peddler, Angel Scribe, Irreverent Spiritualist, Girl Power Advocate, Love Connoisseur, Sun Lover, Cloud Watcher, Founder, SOL Innovations Coaching Group, The SOLSexy Transformation program and Proud Mom. That’s me, but here’s my official bio:

Lori is a fierce advocate for self-love and the positive ripple effect it has on the larger world. She is an intuitive life/spiritual coach, certified by the International Coach Federation (ICF), author, speaker, and teacher who specializes in 1:1 life coaching centered around self-love and soul alignment. She is also a transformational coach with We Inspire Justice, a social impact group who works with celebrities, influencers and content providers to promote equality, diversity and social justice within the entertainment industry and beyond.

Lori is an Emmy award-winning writer, and author of eight books, and is currently working on her ninth. She is a passionate and motivating speaker who has facilitated workshops all over the country and in Mexico. She is the Health and Wellness Director for the Life Luxe Jazz Festival and is responsible for the creative development and execution of the two-day programming centered around financial, physical, and emotional wellness for POC. She is a founding expert and programming chair of the Living Healthy List, an online source for honest and reliable information of health, wellness, personal development.

Her motto: True Masters Learn through Joy