Who’s in Your Room? Who do you choose to surround yourself with? Are these people in your room positive and uplifting or negative?
The concept is that if you lived your life in only one room and who you let into your room could never leave, would you be more selective of whom you let into your room or your life. In his book, “Who’s in Your Room,” Dr. Ivan Misner, Founder and Chief Visionary Officer of BNI (Business Network International), explores this concept.
I have always been a positive person, and it has taken me a long time to accept that some people cannot just be positive. You know the kind, people who are constantly complaining, looking for the negative, and acting negatively. All they do is bring others down.
For many years, I accepted that I had to tolerate the negative people in my life ted. Worse yet, I spent many more years trying to “change” them to be more positive. Of course, we have no power to change anyone; they must find it for themselves. The best I could do was to set an example.
Historically, I found myself working with these types of negative people. When it was someone with authority, like a boss or manager, it was the absolute worst. But I told myself, you have to deal with it, to keep the job. However, one incident got so bad, and I had no choice but to leave a job I loved.
Caught in the middle
The two men that I allowed into “my room” were brothers. One was the General Manager of the Hotel I worked at and the other the Food & Beverage Director. I was the Director of Sales and Catering. The two of them constantly bickered like teenage girls. They were often working against each other instead of with each other, a struggle over who was the smartest. Unfortunately, too I often found myself caught in the middle of their childish competition.
One evening after the offices were closed to the public, I worked late and overhead the two of them in a knockdown drag-out screaming match. I have no recollection of the issue they were arguing over, but I knew I could no longer work in this toxic environment. I’d been hired directly by the hotel owner and went straight to him with my resignation. I hoped that he would see the toxicity of the situation and make a change in management for the good of the entire hotel staff.
However, the situation digressed further. The owner offered to pay me an additional salary to keep m on board and continue to put up with the problem. I had to refuse and excuse myself from the situation.
Something had to change
Life’s too short to live in a toxic environment. I had no choice at that point but to leave the job I loved, and that paid well to remove myself from this daily barrage of negativity.
In this case, the choice to leave was a baby step in my learning curve to remove the negativity from my life.
Over and over again, my life choices and job selections lead me into similar hostile environments. For a while, I would tolerate the situation thinking that is just the way life is. When I could not take it anymore I’d quit and move on. I used to think that something was wrong with me. I could not commit to a job or employer and changed jobs about every five years. There was a definite pattern. I now know that it was just my toleration level.
Some years later, I had another boss threatened by having my talent “in her room.” She constantly attacked me for anything she could conjure up. I have always been one to admit my mistakes and take responsibility for them. However, I refused to accept criticism when I had done nothing wrong, especially from people who are simply searching for some way to put me down, to elevate their self-esteem.
The Passion Test
Shortly after starting my own business, I attended Certification Training for the Passion Test through a blessed series of events and referrals. I went with my daughter Ashley who was also training to become a facilitator. I thought it would be a great bonding experience for the two of us, and it was. However, on that weekend, I met the people who I had always wanted to be in “my room .” A group of positive, supportive, loving people driven by a purpose to help others live life to the fullest while enjoying it for themself. Through living their passions and helping others to discover theirs.
After that training, I declared that I would remove all negative people from my life, “from my room .” Constant complainers beware; there is no room in my room for you.
Now, I teach people how to eliminate negativity from their lives and look for the positive in every moment.
Life’s too short to live in a room full of negativity. Excuse those who bring you down from your room. Surround yourself with positive, supportive people. Fill your room with people you want to be like and enjoy. After all, you only have one “room” to work with; fill it wisely with only the positive things in life.
Ready to live passionately and with purpose? Connect with me here and learn more.