Charming the Mister

Today’s post is for all you wives out there who have forgotten, lost or turned in your flirt card once you said, “I do.”

To the ears of many married women, the word ‘flirting” has a negative ring to it. It carries a lot of hussy baggage belonging to someone traveling down the slippery slope of infidelity. And while the idea of flirting with another man is taboo, it’s also sad that many wives often stop flirting with their husbands as well.

Level-Up Your Definition

Before we go any further, let me stop down here for a moment to introduce you to a next-level definition of flirting, which spiritually speaking, is the way our souls communicate.  The SOLSexy Definition of flirting: Gifting others with your time, appreciation, and interest with no need, agenda, or desire to impress or win them over.  If it sounds a bit like ‘unconditional love’, it’s because it is.  Flirting is our soulful way of spreading positivity and light into the world with no expectations or added desires.

The Importance of Charm

Until you’re able to let that new perspective soak it, let’s move on by flipping the script and replacing the word ‘flirting’, with the word ‘charm’, as in charming your man.

It’s not unusual for a woman to flirt to attract the object of her desire, and then gradually dismiss her charming side as time, kids, and familiarity takes over. But every woman should keep her sensual, charming self, active, and alive.


Here are three great reasons:

1) To maintain your sexual relevance as time goes by. Age is no longer a threat to your sexual confidence.

2) Because sexual confidence gives you a sense of control over your own destiny. No more thinking, “No other man will ever want me.”

3) To avoid the “intimacy” leak that siphons off marital passions.

Flirting with your partner is a crucial part of your ‘maintaining the flame’ toolkit. Flirting helps keep romance and playfulness alive in your marriage. It should not stop at the altar, nor should it stop at your 25th wedding anniversary. Here are six tips to turn up the charm and get you back to your charming self.

Turn Up the Charm.

1. Find your smile again. It’s amazing how often we don’t smile and a genuine smile is your most effective charming tool.

2. Practice. Waiters, gas station attendants, the deli guy. Be charming whenever the opportunity presents itself. The better you get the more powerful you’ll feel.

3. Take those charming feelings and focus on the things that initially attracted you to your husband.

4. Use those fun, charming moves on him when he least expects it. An unexpected compliment or smile out of the blue will do wonders.

5. Listen to him and laugh with him. Just as they do on his single brethren, the more he thinks you find him interesting, the more mysterious and alluring you’ll once again become to him.

6. Have fun and don’t take it all too seriously.

Isn’t he the deserving of the gift of your flirty attention?

Want to feel more connected in your relationships?  Watch here!



Hi, I’m Lori Certified Spiritual Love Coach, Author, Confidence Peddler, Angel Scribe, Irreverent Spiritualist, Girl Power Advocate, Love Connoisseur, Sun Lover, Cloud Watcher, Founder, SOL Innovations Coaching Group, The SOLSexy Transformation program and Proud Mom. That’s me, but here’s my official bio:

Lori is a fierce advocate for self-love and the positive ripple effect it has on the larger world. She is an intuitive life/spiritual coach, certified by the International Coach Federation (ICF), author, speaker, and teacher who specializes in 1:1 life coaching centered around self-love and soul alignment. She is also a transformational coach with We Inspire Justice, a social impact group who works with celebrities, influencers and content providers to promote equality, diversity and social justice within the entertainment industry and beyond.

Lori is an Emmy award-winning writer, and author of eight books, and is currently working on her ninth. She is a passionate and motivating speaker who has facilitated workshops all over the country and in Mexico. She is the Health and Wellness Director for the Life Luxe Jazz Festival and is responsible for the creative development and execution of the two-day programming centered around financial, physical, and emotional wellness for POC. She is a founding expert and programming chair of the Living Healthy List, an online source for honest and reliable information of health, wellness, personal development.

Her motto: True Masters Learn through Joy